i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
