so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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