im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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