and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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