He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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