I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
