If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
