I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
