i don't like sucking hair
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
