Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
