Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
