Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize