so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dignity is for republicans.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
