ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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