Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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