So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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