hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just pee around me
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Someone signed my nipple.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
