I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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