What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
