I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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