like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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