Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
