Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
