The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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