Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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