i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
