I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you didnt know i had herpes?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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