I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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