FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
