I wish I could punch you in the face.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
