So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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