That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize