I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
