i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
