Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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