My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
