I think i peed on brittanys purse
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
