dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
