Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
