you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
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I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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