So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
