One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
