Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
