Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
