He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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