I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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