I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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