part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
