Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
