This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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