i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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