So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
