Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Fuck appropriateness.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
