my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize