she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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