i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
