Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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