So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
