North Korea, Best Korea!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
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