i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
