Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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